YESSS!

The best Christmas present ever!!

It's just a picture of a boy sporting his new "big boys". No big deal just two more to go.

{fullness}

I wonder if my kids will ever know that sometimes after I drop them off at school or at the bus stop I wait there for a couple of minutes and marvel in my love for them as I watch them on the playground or driving off on the bus.

Who knows maybe they will read what I wrote someday and will totally understand why I do what I do because they will be doing the same things..but hopefully better.

I love that fullness in the heart kind of feeling...usually only comes via events that break through the surface and make you have to really get in there and work hard.

intentional

For some reason I have frequently been reflecting back to the day when I found out that I was having three babies and my girls were only 23 months.

Waylon had stepped out to get me something to eat during our very long wait in the doctors office. It was the day we were to find out what that positive pregnancy test was going to reveal..was there one baby..was there two babies. When you use assistance to get pregnant (fertility) then there are certain percentages that come into play. Just a couple months back the doctor had told me that there was a less than 7% chance of having twins again and less than 2% chance of having triplets so I wasn't that worried except for in that deep down part of my soul. The ultra sound technician finally called me back but Waylon had yet to return so I shimmied on back by myself. She very quickly and confidently delivered the news that there were three strong heart beats. At that moment I just wanted to plug my ears and run away. I cried. In fact I cried for a week straight because I didn't think I could ever do this. After much counsel, blessings and prayer I made up my mind that everything was going to be fine & I never looked back. In fact I think it took a month before I could start to tell people because I wanted to make sure I could deliver the news in a happy celebrated fashion..as it should be. It was amazing to see miracle after miracle unfold, only confirming that this event in my life was intentional.

Well today as I watched those sweet, healthy little boys entertain themselves for hours while catching potato bugs I counted my lucky blessings. I can't believe there was ever a day that I questioned that all three of those boys were meant to be in my home. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing.

Today was a good day. The zoo in the morning and potato bugs in the afternoon. These are my three sons and my three little buddy boys.

the boys are 3

If I have learned anything @ all during the last three years then I would say I have at least learned that I can only control certain things like how I am going to react. I have also learned to roll with the punches in a much better manner, that there is a time and season & that simplifying is not over-rated. Through the course of the last three years there has been many occasions that I have just wanted to short circuit because I couldn't do things the way I wanted them to be done. Well I would be fried by now if I didn't soon learn how to just let some things go and to just do my best knowing that it still probably wasn't enough. It truly is all about perspective and if I didn't have the Lord on my side then I wouldn't have made it thus far. He has made up the difference on so many occasions. I can't do it all but can certainly try my best. The tricky part is figuring out what I can handle and being fine with that. One thing is for sure and that is I probably wouldn't be talking about the above jumbalaya (side note: did you know that Jambalaya is traditionally made in 3parts?) without having experienced my 3 boys coming into this world with such zest...So thank you, thank you to the glorious day when I was gifted the above 3 great spirits from above. Without them I would never have learned some of the most valuable of life's lessons. I am better off because of those sweet little boys.

Well apparently I haven't totally learned all of my lessons because yah, about the above photos..well let's just say I had envisioned a certain set up for taking the boys 3 year old pictures and left feeling like my vision was a failure. What!... I only thought that my boys would summon the spirits of beautiful little birdies and butterflies that would make them want to wear their cute hats and head pieces all while they held hands in a circle singing and dancing with such glee. Not even close cause we got WORKED! That is why I was so surprised to see the cutest photos by Michelle show up in my inbox today....what a miracle worker is she. I think I love the pictures because not only are they cute but it shows real life. I have three wild "engines" for petes sake so why wouldn't one have a black eye that just happened in nursery two days before pictures and why would they only NOT wear their indian bands and hats for pictures and why wouldn't they feel the need to cry and have only their Momma carry them when usually they want to walk all by themselves and why would one want to keep biting his toy snake and why would we have to try and bribe them to take pictures by throwing suckers in the teepee and telling them to get in.

WHY, WHY, WHY????? Because. We all have our agency and our very own Plan..that includes a very loving God...that I can't deny.

preschool graduation

Here I sat two weeks before the boys were born in all of my almost 190 lb. glory after being on 4 months bedrest and gaining 68 lbs. I remember I had long put the fear of having triplets behind me. I actually felt @ great peace with what was about to transpire. The above pictures were probably the last of some of my most clear memories over the last few years. Being put in survival mode these last three years has caused a whirlwind of time to flash by in a mili-second. Then today it happened, I went to the graduation from preschool of my two sweet little girls. For some reason it really hit me hard because I realized my girls are now moving into a whole new frontier...elementary school. Where has the time gone? I don't think I have been this overcome with this many unsettled feelings in a long time. The thought of the girls going to kindergarten scares me almost more then having another set of triplets. I feel so tender towards the experiences I have been able to have with having a handful of children in such a short amount of time. I truly feel so loved by my Heavenly Father & I have been so blessed. I wish I could just bottle up my sweet innocent little children so I can enjoy them forever in their current state. I know that is not part of the Plan but change has always been so hard on me. I don't want to ever forget this experience & the tender feelings that have come along with raising such sweet little spirits.

Today at preschool they gave out awards to all of the children. Maren had quite a few that went along with being a leader, creative and artistic. Maile's awards consisted of being creative, always having a smile on her face and being a friend to everyone. I love these little girls more than anything. I hope they truly can come to know of their great worth.

Christian

This is a daily scene around the home. Christian loves to be all wrapped up in a blanket.

Note to self: Pls. don't ever forget how cute he is.

little tykes

How much longer will all 5 of my children fit in a little tykes picnic bench? I don't want to think about them getting bigger.

Bridger's date night

What is it about taking a child out for one on one time that makes them so happy. I took Bridger out by himself for what I call a "date night". We only went on a simple walk by ourselves but it somehow was one of the best moments he and I had all week.

I really hope to make each and every single one of my children feel special.

Maile's artwork

All in a morning, the above collection was transpired. Maile loves to draw and was very proud of her centipedes. She said that tomorrow she would draw mermaids and whatever else she likes that is from around the world. She is such a smarty pants.

scenes from a Saturday morning hike

As Waylon and I hiked, we talked about how blessed we feel to have all of these children no matter how tricky it is at times. The kids have taught us so much and have truly made our lives full in every way. We are grateful for this opportunity to be stretched a bit.

Maren

"Let's make a deal, you pick out whatever you want to wear today but I get to pick tomorrow" That is a direct quote made by me to Maren. Now that I have had a chance to think about it I think she should pick out her clothes every single day if she wants...the only request is that she always puts on a smile to go with that outfit. So much joy can be found in all of the cheesy grins.

For some reason this little scene brought me great joy this week. A decade ago I would have never thought little cars all lined up would be this cool.

I almost got mad but then I just laughed...PHEW!

I hate it when I get mad unnecessarily..I'm really trying hard in that department.

Now if Christian dumps one more pail of water out of the tub I am going to get ticked:-)

{half-wrapped}

These were the best presents ever. Half wrapped Barbie's etc. The girls wanted so badly for me to have a great birthday. I love that they brought out all of their used toys and tried to give them to me.

Honestly, they made my day.

Happy birthday Nana!

Where is Nana you ask...

Nana is off serving others...on this very day called her birthday.

Nana knows how to be a lady.

Nana knows how to love.

Wouldn't be where I am today without Nana banana.

Happy birthday to a lovely lady AKA as Mom.

xoxoxoxoxo

{crumb cake}

Sometimes when I am really stressed out I like to make various bakes goods. This morning it happened to be sour cream crumb cake. This was the second weekend alone with all of the children and the thought of getting everybody to church and then to behave once we arrived seemed like the most daunting task. The kids were already fighting and whining about really important things like who was going to sit in which chair. One "awesome" daughter came over for the fifth time and said, "Mom, Bridger is in the seat that I want to sit in. At that point I didn't know what to say so I just blurted out, "Then just go sit on the floor and eat". "Did I really just say that", I thought.  Trust me though I wanted to say something much worse.  I had finally gotten around to dishing my own serving of crumb cake and wished I could go eat mine outside in peace. Instead I took my own advice and settled for the floor. Funny thing happened after that. Every single one of our moods lightened up and before I knew it I was surrounded by 5 active children who had come to join me. Not the most conventional way of eating crumb cake but it was then & there that my prayers were answered. Mandy walked in the door unannounced to help us get ready for church. She was so amused by the sight of all of us sitting there that she went to get the camera. What I remember most was that we all ended up making it to church in rather chipper moods which is a miracle. You see it was just the day before that I sat in the shower telling my Heavenly Father that I could only do my best. I told him that I would try really hard but that I need a little extra help to make it the rest of the way. Again, my prayers were heard.

As I sat in church and listened to the speaker talk about putting ourselves in a position to not only hear promptings to help those in need and to be an instrument in thy hand but then to be bold enough to act on those promptings, I felt inspired to try even a little bit harder. I can do great things with the Lord on my side...even if they are hard. When it is His will, He always helps to make up the difference. Usually through angels here on this earth.

P.S. - "Awesome" is code for not awesome.  I love that sister always says, "My kids are being so awesome" when they really are being little scoundrels.

{crazy}

Sometimes I seriously feel like a blue heeler trying to heard cattle.

Sometimes I think I may be making a spectacle of myself when I try to take all of the kids places by myself.  People are probably thinking, "Lady, you are crazy".

I will never again bring all the kids to Fountain Hills where there are lots of duckys, and a hill to chase the ducks down that leads to a small body of water.  It has taken a full 12 hours to recover from that little trip that I started out thinking that I was such a fun mom.

Perhaps I am CRAZY!

Oh well.  

What am I to do?

Stay home?

Perhaps I will next time:-)

Time is speeding by way too fast.  I'm not too sure I am doing the very best job @ this motherhood thing.  Sometimes I am not very patient and sometimes I do things I said I would never do as a mother.  All I know is I feel such a great responsibility to make sure my kids know the importance of the family unit and how it plays into the role of the great Plan of Salvation.    

As we recently celebrated Maren & Maile's birthday I have reflected on how fast all of this aging business has crept up on our family.  Just yesterday they were born on a snowy Jan. evening and now they are embarking upon elementary school.  Five years old seems so much older than four years old and apparently they seem to think so too because we have had morning talks of what to name Maile's 7 boys and 7 girls when she becomes a mom.  Funny thing, just yesterday she didn't want any kids.  Nonetheless she has settled on the following names thus far:

Purple Lightning

Red Scarf

Olivia

Good thing we live close to the reservation so that she can find herself a nice Navajo boy...haha! I don't want to think that far into the future.

That same morning as I observed all kids eating breakfast my heart melted.  I turned to Waylon & told him that I wanted to pour choc. syrup all over them so that I can gobble them up.  Without skipping a beat Maile & Maren both said, "Eeew Mom that is disgusting because then you would have to eat blood & bones & eyes"  

Smart cookies I say.

Happy Birthday little girls!